10 Worst Mistakes Christians Make While Dating

Singles make up a big percentage of any given church, and pastors spend a lot of time teaching about marriage and parenting. But how do you actually find the right person to marry?
You won't hear much teaching about dating in most churches. It's like we're afraid to touch the subject—so people just feel their way in the dark and figure out romance on their own.
Our awkwardness about this topic is one reason single Christians make so many relationship blunders—and why many marriages start out on the wrong foot. I asked some of my single friends and one of my daughters to help me compile this list of most common dating mistakes. Here are the Top 10:
1. Being desperate for a relationship. Some singles freak out when they hit age 25. They stop trusting God and begin a nail-biting search for a mate. My friend Nicole Doyley, author of The Wait, says she knows women who are so frantic about finding Prince Charming that they immediately fall for any guy who asks them out. "They should see the warning signs, but don't," Nicole says. "They start praying immediately if this is 'the one' and they quickly become blind to his faults."
2. Being too picky. On the flip side, some singles are waiting for the perfect human specimen to sweep them off their feet. Picky guys want a girl who could appear in the swimsuit edition of Sports Illustrated. Or, some Christian women expect to marry a spiritual giant who prays four hours a day. Be realistic. Whoever you date will have feet of clay and plenty of flaws to match your own.
3. Not developing healthy friendships with the opposite sex. Oftentimes too much pressure is placed on Christian singles to pair up, especially if they are attending a Bible college with a reputation for being a wedding factory. And in that pressure cooker it's difficult for guys and girls to enjoy nonromantic friendships. Relax and make friends, and don't view every opposite-sex friend as a potential marriage partner.
4. Letting other people control your relationship. Church friends usually mean well, but some people don't know how to stay out of other people's business. They will engage in what I call "prophetic meddling" by dropping hints, manipulating you to go out with someone or pushing you to marry someone you don't even want to be with. And while the gift of prophecy is valuable, you should never let personal prophecies steer your decisions about marriage. Let God personally guide you in this very personal area of life.
5. Ignoring proper boundaries. Some Christian couples are extremely naïve about the power of a romantic bond. They don't realize that feelings can zoom from zero to 90 miles an hour in a few seconds, and that one kiss can lead to intercourse if you don't have your emergency brake on at all times. If you are in a dating relationship, you must know your boundaries, discuss them with your partner and commit to staying pure. Don't be stupid. Don't spiritualize your lust and suggest, "Let's go to your apartment and pray." Don't wait until clothes come off to determine what is out of bounds.
6. Missionary dating. Never start a romantic relationship with a guy or girl who is not a believer. Christians who do this usually justify it with the old "I know I can change him/her" line. But the opposite happens: The unbeliever changes you—after he or she has broken your heart, compromised your morals or damaged your faith.
7. Lack of healthy confidence. Some guys I know are stuck in a state of spiritual limbo when it comes to their dating life. They may admire a girl from afar, but they just can't muster up the nerve to break the ice and start a conversation. Proverbs 18:22 says, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing." If you are going to find a wife, you don't just sit there until you are 40. Develop some healthy aggression. And while it is true that some women prefer to be pursued, remember that Ruth proposed to Boaz in the Old Testament story. Don't be so demure that your future husband can't even notice you.
8. Expecting the person you are dating to "fix" you. God wants singles to have undistracted devotion to Jesus (see 1 Cor. 7:35). Yet too often we look to other people to bring the inner fulfillment that only Christ gives. Many singles fall into the trap of finding a boyfriend or girlfriend to heal the wounds caused by childhood trauma, their parents' divorce or their dads' addictions. Seek healing from the Holy Spirit for those issues before you commit to a serious relationship.
9. Spiritual stalking. I've met guys in church who drive by girls' houses regularly, monitor their moves and troll their Facebook pages. That's creepy. If you have to sneak around like a private detective to get a date, you need a new strategy. If a woman tells you she is not interested in going out with you, honor her request and move on. Don't develop an unhealthy obsession. And never, never, never tell a girl: "God told me you will be my wife." That's manipulative and could fall under the category of sexual harassment.
10. Not discerning a spiritual predator. One single female friend of mine said she went out with a man who did a financial seminar at her church. Because the guy was invited to speak from a pulpit she assumed he was a man of character, but he tried to get her into bed with him on the first date. It became quickly obvious he was an imposter. Beware of wolves. You must walk in the Spirit if you want to protect your purity and save yourself for the right person.

A Prophetic Word for Jezebel's False Prophets

Jesus warned that many false prophets would rise in the last days—and Christ's words never fall to the ground. Indeed, we're seeing false prophets rising left and right. But Jezebel's puppets are being exposed.
As it turns out, some are toting credit card machines to the altar so they can swipe your card before they will prophesy over you. (Yes, really!). Others are literally standing on the backs of people apparently slain by some spirit, showboating with a microphone. Still others are divining for money over the Internet in the name of the Lord. Prophets are not psychics, witches and shamans, and Jezebel killed one of the greatest revivals ever!
Although this grieves me to no end, it does not surprise me. Jesus clearly warned us in Matthew 24:11 that many false prophets will rise and deceive many and again in Matthew 24:24 that false christs and false prophets will rise up and perform signs and wonders to deceive, if possible, even God's chosen ones. That's why Jesus warned us to "beware" of them (see Mark 7:15). On top of that, in 2008 the Holy Spirit told me, "The merchandisers will rise during this hour like never before."
False Prophets Rising
The Bible says plenty about false prophets. Their end is not good no matter which way you read it. Peter warned they would bring on themselves swift destruction (see 2 Pet. 2:1). Jesus said that not everyone who says to Him, "Lord, Lord" will enter into the kingdom of heaven, including those who prophesied in His name (see Matt. 7:21).
False prophets are certainly nothing new. In Deuteronomy 18:20, God said, "But the prophet, who presumes to speak a word in my name, which I have not commanded him to speak, or who shall speak in the name of other gods—that prophet shall die." Jeremiah 23:26 declares: "How long shall this be in the heart of the prophets who prophesy lies? Indeed, they are prophets of the deceit of their own heart, who plan to cause My people to forget My name by their dreams, which they tell to their neighbor, as their fathers have forgotten My name for Baal."
Jeremiah heard plenty about the false prophets and encountered some of them, but he wasn't the only one. Elijah contended with 850 false prophets, who fell by the sword. The Lord warned Ezekiel about false prophets who "have seen vanity and lying divination, saying, 'The Lord says,' when the Lord has not sent them. And they have made others to hope for the confirmation of their word" (Ezek. 13:6).
Micah's Massive Prophecy
Some say we're living in a Micah 2 moment in the United States. Micah 2 speaks of those who conceive wickedness and devise evil on their beds—and deceitful prophets who will "preach for you wine and beer." But there is a prophecy in Micah 3 that really struck me earlier this year. It was something the Lord said with regard to prophets who mislead His people that I feel led to release right now:
"Regarding the prophets who mislead My people—the ones who have something to eat proclaim, 'Peace,' but if one does not feed them, then they prepare for war against him. Therefore you will have night without vision, and you will have darkness without divination; the sun will set upon the prophets, and black upon them will be the day. The seers will be shamed and the diviners disgraced, and they will all cover their beards, for there is no answer from God" (Micah 3:5-7).
That hour is coming and it's coming soon. Of course, false prophets get very angry with me—and gnash their teeth at me—when I write articles like this. Some of them threaten to cancel their magazine subscriptions when I call out these things. I draw my response from Acts 4:49 and Micah 3:8:
"Now, Lord, look on their threats and grant that Your servants may speak Your word with great boldness, by stretching out Your hand to heal and that signs and wonders may be performed in the name of Your holy Son Jesus" (Acts 4:49-30). I'm praying the false (and misled) prophets will repent. I really am. But I will not be intimidated by the threats anymore than Jeremiah was in his day. And I agree with Micah, "But as for me, I am filled with power, with the Spirit of the Lord, and with justice and might ..." (Micah 3:8).

The Sign of Christ's Coming: A Vision Given to Oral Roberts

Continuing with a recent theme I've been sharing on, concerning visions and warnings of the times we are living in now. Men of old saw these days and were moved on by the Spirit of God to speak and share these things with us.

May these living words produce a consciousness of God that gives birth to a holy fear and awakening in your own life.

The Vision

"In the midst of the turmoil, the fear and the anxiety that's in our nation and in our world, as I was walking and meditating, I heard the voice of God. I've heard that voice many times. It's too familiar to me, and there's no way that I can fail to understand His voice because I'm familiar with it. And instantly I heard that voice and I heard it and then I saw with my eyes something I'd never seen.

Suddenly, in the clouds in the skies above New York City and the east part of the United States, and which hung there for quite sometime and then spread out across America, without touching the ground, and then God diffused it away from America and sent it out to the nations of the earth. And I saw and I heard. What did I see? I saw something coming down from above: Smoke and vapor and blood, or it looked like that to my eyes, to my spiritual eyes.

There it was hanging so huge until it almost blotted out the sky. Instantly I thought about 9/11, when the terrorists attacked the Twin Towers and through television all of us in America, and probably the world, saw those more than 100-story-high buildings crumple and heard the cry of thousands of people who were being either killed or wounded. I remembered the fear that struck my heart and knew that what I was feeling everybody else was feeling and remembered that never in the history of the world, and certainly not of America, that something of this proportion had struck the human race and was a preview of things similar to it that were going to happen through what we now call terrorists.

First, I saw this thing hovering and great changes coming in it to where I couldn't miss it. And then I heard, something came into my ears, and it reminded me of what a friend of mine had said when the first space capsule was released into the sky.

He was a newsman in New York City and maybe half a mile or more away from the capsule. And he said when that thing lifted off the earth, there was a sound, and the sound itself moved the weeds and the growth, and he said, "It penetrated my body." He said, "As I talked to others, they felt the same thing." He said the sound was so enormous that nothing had ever happened like it in the history of the world. Instantly, I thought of that because the sound that was coming into my ears was penetrating my whole being.

And then I heard God's voice. He said: "I'm making a sign."

This is a sign according to the second chapter of Acts, where the apostle Peter, upon the giving of the Holy Spirit, the baptism of the Holy Spirit, said there'll be signs in the skies."

He said, "This is one of the signs of the end time because the world is not ready for the second coming of my Son." He said, "My church is not ready for the second coming of my Son."

He said, "The Jews, with whom I've had the covenant for thousands of years, they're not ready for the second coming of my Son." He said, "The nations of the earth are not ready for the second coming of my Son."

He said, "America has been set aside by a special covenant that I made with many of the people who came to found this nation several hundred years ago, that this was My nation and the gospel was going to go out from it unlike any other nation and there'd be more gospel going out from America."

And He said, not only would there be a powerful military presence in the United States unlike any other nation, but it would be the center of the gospel that I was sending out.

And He said to me, "You remember that I said in My Bible to my disciples 2,000 years ago, 'Go into all the world and teach all nations, and when that teaching has reached the nations then shall the end come.'" And then he startled me. He said, "With all of the widespread force of my church in the world, but particularly in the United States, which is the source of most of the gospel that's being preached in all the world,"

He said, "There is a wasting of My power, there is a failure to grasp the end time. And the church, they are coming to church on Sunday morning mostly for themselves. And the preachers, for the most part, are not really concerned about the nations of the earth."

"They're concerned about the little group that is there, and they sing their songs and they get up and preach." And He said, "When 9/11 struck, there was a fear that came into the hearts, even of My people of the church and of the people outside the church. And millions the following Sunday or two rushed to go to church."

"But the preachers were not prepared, and most of them didn't even preach on it and didn't even talk about it being the sign of something that's coming hundreds of thousands of times bigger."

He said, "When those planes of the terrorists struck the Twin Towers in New York City and they gradually came tumbling down, it was something bigger than people had ever seen, but it's nothing in comparison to what's going to happen in the second coming of my Son." And so He said, "My church was not prepared to deal with that, and people came to church and then nothing much happened and they dropped back and many of them went back to their bars," as I heard Kenneth Copeland say.

"And there I was with my whole creation that's alive in the earth, not counting all those who have died—millions who have lived and died, all of whom will be resurrected at some time in the future, having to do with the second coming of my Son, some to everlasting life, some to live forever in their new bodies and some to everlasting shame and contempt forever lost." And He said, "I love people. I created them. I love them by creation. I love them because I sent My only begotten Son." And instantly I thought of the great show that Mel Gibson made of The Passion.

When millions upon millions went to see it and are seeing it now all over the world. I remember when I sat there with my wife, watching it, and how my soul was stirred and the tears sprang from my eyes and my body trembled as I saw something about the sufferings of Jesus, the Son of God, to save the human race and so that the devil would not destroy God's creation. He would not destroy men, women and children that God had created and for whom Jesus had died and rose from the dead that we might be born again—we might repent of our sins and have salvation and come into a readiness for the coming of Christ. And He says, "As you know in the Bible, the second coming is in two parts. One is called the rapture, one is called the revelation.

"And first of all I'm going to rapture, or catch up, My people—the people who are born of my Spirit and filled with My Spirit and serving me. I'm going to catch them up in a moment of time and they'll meet My Son in the clouds and come on into heaven, into My presence. And then not long after I'm going to bring that bride of Christ back with Jesus when He comes the second time to the earth, and that'll be the beginning of the judgment of the nations."

But He said, "The thing that is breaking my heart is that I commanded my people, I commanded My church to preach the gospel in all the world and to teach all nations. And while they are evangelists and pastors and prophets and apostles and all kinds of my workers in various parts of the world and in some of the nations of the earth, it's just a drop in the bucket to what I commanded My disciples to do."

"And I love people so much I cannot afford to let people go on like they are. And then He directed my attention to the book of Matthew, the 24th chapter, where He speaks in the 24th chapter and beginning at verse 35:

"Heaven and earth will pass away, but My words will never pass away. Concerning that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, but My Father only. As were the days of Noah, so will be the coming of the Son of Man. For as in the days before the flood, they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day Noah entered the ark, and did not know until the flood came and took them all away, so will be the coming of the Son of Man."

Now, He reminded me in the 6th chapter of Genesis that the earth was filled with violence and it was so full it couldn't be any more full and it grieved the heart of God that He had made man and he decided that He would destroy man and begin over, and He established a remnant and it was a family: Noah and his family. And He commanded him to build a huge boat that would take two of every living thing in it so when the flood came—and they'd never had rain before in the earth, it had been watered by a mist.

But He said, when the flood comes and this boat with this family and two of every living thing gets in it and the flood lifts them up from the earth that's being destroyed, or from the human race that's being destroyed, the flood that lifts the ark, or the remnant of my people, in Noah's day, will come down in judgment upon the people of the earth.

And He said ...

Now, there's got to be preaching with fire in the belly!

There's got to be an anointing of the holy ghost. My church has to wake up because what I'm revealing in this sign that "every" eye is going to see, "every" ear is going to hear. They'll see this thing. They will not necessarily know what it is, but it's a wake-up call about the Second Coming of my son!

It's not going to come and touch the earth. It's going to be seen, it's going to be heard, and people are going to become aware of the drama of the end time, of the Second Coming of Christ. When He splits the skies and comes back with His bride and takes over the reign of the earth and He destroys the Antichrist, who will arise at that time. He will destroy the followers of Antichrist and He'll establish His kingdom upon the earth. And He said, "I cannot let anybody live and die without knowledge that my Son is coming back the second time."

Bishop T.D. Jakes 'Shocked' to Read 'Manipulation' of His 'Gay Marriage' Comments

Leaders from across the body of Christ were contacting me all weekend about T.D. Jakes' interview on HuffPo TV's Marc Hill.
The megachurch pastor was accused of coming out in favor of gay marriage. One headline proclaimed his position on LGBT churches is "evolving."
I reached out to bishop's office this weekend by phone and email. I wanted to ask him personally what he meant, because we know all too well that the secular media—and the heresy hunters—like to twist the word of godly men and women to support an agenda.
Late last night, Jakes issued a statement on Facebook, which is reprinted below in its entirety.
My comment on HuffPo TV drifted into issues of the Supreme Court ruling and changing the world through public policy verses personal witness. Further, I have come to respect that I can't force my beliefs on others by controlling public policy for taxpayers and other U.S. citizens.
Jesus never sought to change the world through public policy but rather through personal transformation. All people didn't embrace Him either. That's what I said and what I meant ... Nothing more and nothing less.
Just because a so-called Christian publication chooses to misconstrue my words using lazy journalistic tactics to further their own agenda and draw attention to their site does not make their statements an accurate depiction of what I said or meant.
Investigate.
Do not take everything you read online or hear repeated as truth. When asked about the "black church" and its role in ministering to gay people, I briefly mentioned (we were running out of time) the word "evolved and evolving" regarding my approach over the 39 years of my ministry to gay people who choose to come to our services.
I simply meant that my method is evolving—not my message. I was shocked to read that this was manipulated in a subsequent article to say I endorsed same-sex marriage! My position on the subject has been steadfast and rooted in Scripture.
For the record, I do not endorse same-sex marriage, but I respect the rights that this country affords those that disagree with me.
Michael Brown, though, still wants Jakes to offer more clarification. What's your take? Are you relieved? Does Jakes need to be clearer or is it now crystal to you where he stands?

First Baptist Church to Ordain Gay, Transgender Ministers

A former Southern Baptist Church has decided all are welcomed in their pulpit, going so far as to ordain gay and transgender ministers.
First Baptist of Greenville, South Carolina—the church home of the first Southern Baptist Convention president—has taken a bold move in "embracing the complexities of gender identity."
"What I heard was, 'We need to do the right thing, regardless of what anybody thinks or says about us,'" Senior Pastor Jim Dant tells Greenville Online. "There were a few people who said, 'Are they going to start calling us the gay church in town?'"
After a six-month exploratory time, Greenville asked their members to affirm the acceptance of same-sex couples. According to Greenville Online, those who didn't affirm the church's decision still remained in the congregation. 
In moving forward, the church ministers can perform same-sex unions and ordain any person, regardless of sexual orientation and lifestyle, to serve in a leadership role.
Greenville split from the SBC in the early 1990s, and is now a member of the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship. Before leaving the original denomination, however, Greenville was home to William Bullein Johnson. Johnson not only served as a minister at Greenville, but was inaugural president of the Southern Baptist Convention.
On their Facebook page, Greenville received several positive comments about their move.
"Thank you FBC Greenville. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1 John 4:8," one commenter wrote.
Another: "One day very soon, the Southern Baptist Convention will find themselves marooned on a bigoted island of their own making, while the civilized world of sound, modern biblical exegesis goes on around them."
The SBC, however, has no plans of the sort. President Ronnie Floyd told the Christian Examiner that the SBC stands by their biblical definition of marriage, and are in prayer for Greenville.
"We pray that this church will one day return to be biblically driven in their belief about marriage and family, rather than culturally driven as they have testified in the reported story."

Passion and Praise: Undiluted worship of God

CAUGHT amid a world fraught with challenges, there is need for people to climb away from the ‘maddening crowd’, reach into heights of inspired praise and worship, and descend thereafter, refreshed and adrenalised to claim every divine promise for success.
“But haven’t we been doing just that?” you might ask. “Yes,” replies Funmilayo Oloyede, “but there is much more.”
Oloyede is the brain behind Passion and Praise, a new platform “borne out of the desire for an unadulterated worship of God and rekindling of fire in men to bring them to the throne of His Grace.”
The Assistant Worship Leader at Daystar Christian Centre, Lagos, Oloyede seems to appreciate the role of worship in everyday life. Importantly, “God seeks such to worship Him in spirit and in truth,” she says.
“Christ said the harvest is ripe but the reapers are few. It is only iron that can sharpen iron. The time we are living is a very sensitive one. The spirit is willing to do the work of God but the flesh is weak. We, therefore, need to be transformed by the renewing of our mind.
“Passion and Praise is a platform for people to come together from all walks of life, under one roof and in one spirit, to offer worship to God. There is power in synergy; this was evident at the meeting of the saints in the Upper Room where the power of God moved greatly. Passion and Praise is, therefore, a platform to bond, encourage and renew strength in His awesome presence,” says Oloyede.
She outlines the outfit’s Scripture-based thrust in 1 Peter 2:3-9: “But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him, who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light; who once were not a people but are now the people of God, who had not obtained mercy but now have obtained mercy.”
Besides holding worship concerts, seminars and choir training, among others, Oloyede says Passion and Praise has a vision to reach out to the less privileged.

Gospel artistes bag awards

Last year ended on a bright note for distinguished gospel acts who smiled home with awards at the 2nd edition of the Nigeria Gospel Music Awards (NGMA Awards).

Some of the winners at the event organised by the Academy of Gospel Music in Nigeria include high-flying Frank Edwards who won three awards.

Edwards won in the “artiste of the year”, “best male vocalist” and ‘song of the year” categories.

Emmanuel Benjamin, popularly known as Eben, won “best gospel rock artiste and the “album the the year” awards.

Other winners include Wole Oni (best music producer); Asu Ekiye (best indigenous contemporary category); Joe Praize (alternative category); Onos (best female vocalist); Henri Soul (new revelation of the year); Femi Oyeleye (best male artiste in the Disapora) and Lyn (next rated artiste) and Kayode Olusoji (traditional gospel act).

Joe Praize said: “From now on you people should expect the very best of music from Joe Praize.”

Onos described the honour a morale-booster, stating “in 2013 as I am preparing to release a new album and video, excellence will be my watch word. No mediocre works from me henceforth.”

People expect gospel artistes to perform for free –Paul Praise

Popular gospel artiste, Paul Praise, established himself in the short while he got into the music industry. He launched himself into the industry in 2008 and stuck to gospel music. Five years down the line, he has no regrets. However, he told Saturday Beats that a major challenge of gospel artistes is that people expect them to perform for free, forgetting that they have bills to pay.

 He said, “The greatest challenge is people’s expectations of gospel musicians. Most people expect that we are not supposed to get paid because of our genre of music; they believe we should do it for free since it is the work of God. The truth is that our equipment is bought with money and the musicians and the band members have families that they need to take care of. Sometimes when people call and ask how much we would charge for a particular performance, they feel shocked at the amount we mention. They remind us that it is the work of God but they fail to understand that we all buy things from the same market as everybody else.”

 Sharing a near death experience that got him closer to God, Paul Praise said he almost died after a surgery and did not wake until he was about to be taken to the morgue.

 “In 2008, I was in coma for about eight hours but God brought me back to life through the prayers of men of God. I was sick and went for check up, I had a boil and a surgery was performed to remove the boil. After the surgery, I did not wake up for eight hours until when they were about to take me to the morgue,” Paul Praise said.

Would you allow your Pastor to flog you?

“This is the last warning!” Pastor Kelechi thundered. “The next time you repeat such, I will give you six strokes of the cane!” To prove he would make good his threat, if the need actually arrived, the man of God walked backstage, looked behind a couch, and fetched a five-feet long stick. He leaned the object against the pulpit in such a way, even the visually impaired saw it, and fired on with his sermon.
The troublemaker was Deacon Caleb. His offence: sleeping while powerful scriptural truths were being expounded. The 47-year-old father of four was backsliding and needed to be rescued from a descent into hell.
While across the world, nations are abolishing corporal punishment, the practice appears to be gaining acceptance among some religious leaders, who are increasingly finding the Holy Book too weak to produce their definitions of righteousness and propriety. Hence, sermons must be bolstered by an ugly slap in the face, a knock on the head, a kneeling down in the scorching sun, a frog jumping amid pews, and in extreme cases, a sentencing of the theological felon to death.
Proponents of flogging in Christendom, of course, have the Bible to ‘back up’ their claims. The Gospel, according to John (2: 13-17), says: “And the Jews’ passover was at hand, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. And found in the temple those that sold oxen and sheep and doves, and the changers of money sitting: And when he had made a scourge of small cords, he drove them all out of the temple, and the sheep, and the oxen; and poured out the changers’ money, and overthrew the tables; And said unto them that sold doves, Take these things hence; make not my Father’s house an house of merchandise.”
Another argument for the cane philosophy is the injunction in Proverbs 22:15: “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.”
But the Scripture never spoke again about Jesus deploying the whip, and neither did history prove that the Apostles and Church Fathers adopted the practice. Moreover, Jesus did so to fulfil prophecy, as it is recorded: “And his disciples remembered that it was written, The zeal of thine house hath eaten me up.” Also, Jesus never used the whip on his disciples or on their loved ones, as the trend is today.
In churches where the practice holds sway, worshippers are led into believing that resisting the strokes amounts to rebellion against divine authority; a situation that could fetch heaven’s wrath. And so, fathers, mothers and church officials, their ages regardless, are subjected to humiliating situations at the hand of the almighty overseer.
In some places, however, worshippers have expressed satisfaction at the method, even cautioning non-members against interference. ‘We love the way Daddy handles us. It is good. We need a firm hand to control us,” they would say.
But such flimsy arguments only betray depths of indoctrination and slavishness; else, how would a normal individual leave his home for the church with the mindset that he could, in the course of worshipping God, receive a dirty slap in the face.
It must be stated that if a preacher could, bold facedly, look in the Bible and at the meek character of the Lord Jesus Christ and yet go on to appropriate liberty to whip his congregation, such would, in the course of time, seize more liberties, resulting in strange deeds and teachings.
“It is not rebellion or insubordination, if a member refuses to be flogged by a pastor,” says Rev. Victor Akerele of First Baptist Church, Festac Town, Lagos,  “because the pastor himself is wrong. So, a member’s refusal, in my opinion, is justified. There is no Biblical backing that says the pastor should flog his members.
“Had the pastoral ministry not lost its place, pastors are held in high esteem. No matter the age of a member, even if such is 100-years-old, and the pastor is 30-years-old, once the pastor speaks, that member, who is 100-years-old, will listen to the pastor. But because the pastoral ministry has lost its grip, that is why some pastors have resorted to physical means to tame their members.”
Akerele supports his position with a Biblical reference to 2 Timothy 3:16: “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness,” concluding: “The Word of God is sufficient whip to chastise His children. As pastors, we are shepherds. We are to lead the sheep with tender, loving care. When we correct them, it should be in love. It is absurd; it should not be heard that a pastor flogs his members.”
Were you in church today? Did your ‘Daddy’ threaten to flog you? What would you have done had he lashed you?

‘Praise and worship is more than clapping and dancing’

GOSPEL MUSIC IS NOW POPULAR BUT IS THE MESSAGE REALLY BEING PREACHED?
The Karis group is a gospel music outfit that has lived through 26 years.  Many musicians has passed through the outfit which is still waxing strong.  Run by Rev. Ekpeyong Bassey and his wife, Pat. M. Bassey, the group frowns at the modern practice of commercialising the message among other issues, Dayo Emmanuel met Pat Bassey in her Lagos office.
How did you get into music?
I grew up in a Christian home where Christian music was a lifestyle, Jim Reeves woke us up every morning and at night when we were going to bed, it was also music.  All my brothers were always in the studio. Sundays after church, everybody would dance and dance, it is a family thing, I grew up in Apapa, Lagos.
How did you come about the music career?
With a family background in music, I always found it easy in school to form a choir group, it doesn’t take me time to start it. At every opportunity I gathered people, teach them songs, I just find out that it was my line and God blessed me well in it, music is a language beyond your explanation and worshiping God through music makes it more meaningful, I got married to  a man who makes music, he was a choir master in a military church when I met him, God gave us a vision to make music in church more than the traditional way it used to be, we added a professional touch, if it is for God, it must be the best quality, God deserves the best, we now gave ourselves to it, we became professionals and God blessed us ant it is now 26years.  Our purpose is to carry this message of grace, Karis actually means grace in Greek and Hebrew, Karis is the grace of God and what we carry is the message of the grace, believers and non believers should have it, even some Christians don’t understand  the grace of God,everything is by grace, our salvation is by grace, Karis music caries the grace of God and we don’t compromise our stand, the message is the gospel of Christ and we must pass the love to others, whatever we are doing, our aim is that God must be glorified, not just anything but excellence.
In advancing your music and going professional, did you attend any music school formally?
Well, I learnt through the process but my husband is a trained musician he was a trained accountant but the music supersedes his training as an account, we now run the academy where we teach music, we started the music effectively in 1992/1993, what we now do is more of consultancy, we train musicians for churches, we run three months training with in churches, we also have those who come to our academy for training, we have old people who want to retire with music also come around for training.  We are known for costumes as well, you can see me in a military camouflage in the picture over there, costume is one of the languages we speak, it matters to us a lot because the priests in the Bible had the royal robe, we are priests and ministers of God, we dress to fit occasions.
How do you assess the Christian music industry in Nigeria today?
Basically the word “commercialisation” has been the issue, everybody is looking for money, only God knows, though you can’t judge anybody, may God have mercy on us.  In some churches, it is just noise and noise and you ask yourself what is going on, God is still looking for true worshipers who will worship him in spirit and in truth. We went for a concert sometime ago and the organisers brought musicians who led the people to dance and dance, it was our time to minister and it was a 3hours thing, we were given the last 30 minutes and they asked us to continue to lead the people to dance, everybody already expected that , they said it was time to dance but the Lord led us differently. When we came on, it was a mixed feeling, some were rolling on the floor in worship, God just told us “I want worship, you guys have enjoyed yourselves dancing, what about me?” We had to listen to God and obey Him, we rather please God than please men.  We made altar call, calling forward those who found it difficult to worship God, almost half of the congregation came out and we prayed with them, it was amazing, of course God doesn’t have problem with you dancing and making yourself happy but you must know what He wants per time, the music minster must be sensitive to the Holy Spirit. Why do you clap? Praise and worship is more than clapping and dancing which are little fragment of it, there is more to it, we should minister to God.
How do you advise upcoming musicians?
 We run the academy for young people, to teach them, some of them come for counseling and by the help of God we counsel them. We run seminars, we have the Kingdom Music Foundation, we lecture them , apart from that many of them come for direct counseling, we take time to make them understand what music ministry is all about, you can make money in the industry it is part of it but the ultimate is to glorify God. People don’t believe this and that is why it is being traded all over the place and the reason everybody would copy, bend it and mix up , people don’t spend time with God to hear what He wants them to do  at every occasion, there is a message  and the music minister must be able to know what  God wants at every time. Gospel music is now popular but is the message really being preached?  Are believers getting close to God by these music, does it bring out godly sorrow? During worship, God sometimes makes you cry, heal you and inspires you when you worship Him in truth and in Spirit, you get healed in His presence, which was what David did for Saul. We also ask for direction for young people. I just pray we don’t miss the essence of God’s calling.
There is this notion that the devil attacks gospel ministers, is it true in your case?
This is true, I have a personal encounter along this line. We had a program in Kafanchan, we ministered in the stadium, we ministered also at a Redeemed Church, on our way back we had a car crash, the car left the road totally, that we came out of that car was God, all I know was it was God’s mercy, we didn’t deserve to live but God still has a reason for us to live.  As a musician if you are doing the will of God, there will be confrontation, but the Lord will always be there for you.
How do you balance your career and your family matters?
It is a family thing , everyone in the family is in it, i was shocked when a neighbour said “I enjoy your fellowship”, all the way from another apartment. We have fellowship in the mornings and evenings  and it is like heaven comes down, in fact God honours the worship you give Him in the closet, not just on the stage, your name should bring praise to God, people should thank God for you, not just that you carry Bible all over the place.
When did you get married, and how did you meet your husband?
Well, one day, my mum sent me on an errand to her friend, the woman was not around and as usual, I just gathered the children around and started teaching them songs and a man just appeared asking if he could join us, it was the first time I would notice him, I told him I don’t teach big boys, he said no he wanted to learn and that was how we met.
Today, we no longer look for stages, we run events, and we go for missions as well as campus outreaches.
What do you do apart from Music?
Apart from music I am into garment, I make and design clothes, I am an author, a teacher by calling, an educationist.  Amazingly I had my first degree in Chemistry from University of Ibadan 1979/80 set, I got married in Zaria, I was to do my masters in ABU but at that time my husband moved to Lagos and we had to leave, then I did my masters in Lagos, we are blessed with  a son and three granddaughters and of course  a lot of spiritual children, 13 of who have married from my house, we had a flat for the boys while the girls lived with me, Sammie Okposo was there too, he passed through us and we still relate well.
How is your ministry funded?
God is the one funding us, we have a board of trustees, we have corporate bodies, TREM, MFM, Foursquare, RCCG etc as friends.  Whenever RCCG is opening a  parish, we set the stage and stay with them for six months, then leave for another church, we also run LES CHARIS LTD, apart from our partners, we do business through the LES KARIS; we import and sell musical equipments.
The message must go on, the main thing is to reach the world with the word of God through music, the vision is still on, and we want to leave a legacy.
How do you assess Christian messages from the pulpits today?
The message is there, we have gifted ministers but the application is what we need.  The message is not enough, what about the vessel? I’m just sure if everybody does what God wants, us to do, Nigeria will be better place to live, we are the salt of the earth and the light of the world, if we truly do what God wants us to do, we will see result, there should be love among us, we clap and sing together but is there love?, If there is love, we will know those who are really hurting among us and care for them.

‘Nothing wrong with preachers using private jets’

Prophet Kayode Abiara is the General Evangelist Worldwide of the Christ Apostolic Church (CAC).  He has been in the Lord’s vineyard for half a century. He spoke with Gbenga Aderanti of The Nation on the rancour in the Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN) and the private jets controversy. Excerpts:   
Nigeria is not short of men of God and people so passionate about evangelism, yet faces a lot of challenges. Why is this so?
If it were not for prayers, Nigeria would have collapsed before now. So, we thank God Almighty for people praying for Nigeria. People often tell me that prayers are too much that even the prayers in the CAC and Mountain of Fire ought to have destroyed the devil. But the Bible does not put us in darkness over this. The Bible says in the last days, there will be critical times because there will be rumour of war, challenges and so on and so forth. Until Jesus comes, all these problems will not stop. But when we pray, God will sustain us and those who cause problems, the power of prayer will suppress them and destroy their acts. That is why Nigeria is still sustained up till now. That is why I said in my message to this nation that Nigeria must not panic at all because of the killings and kidnapping. After all, there are many challenges in Europe, Middle East and America. Yet they overcame their challenges. There is no one without his or her own challenges. There is no country without its challenges. If you are in this world, you will face challenges.
There are those who are of the opinion that these problems are man-made. Do you share this viewpoint?
It is because it is the spirit of Satan that corrupts. Now, those who are corrupt don’t want to know that people are suffering. There is money in this country. But it is those who are up there that are making things difficult. I don’t know what I can call them. People are corrupt and it is only prayers that can deliver us. Some people prefer to keep their money abroad, instead of investing it in Nigeria and generate employment. For me, that is wicked and callous. How can you accumulate so much money and your people are suffering? That is why you have many unemployed graduates. Government cannot provide work. That is why I said in my message to the nation that graduates should also do vocational studies because degrees are not enough.
Considering the number of men of God who have access to political leaders, one would have thought that things would be a bit different. Why has our situation remained the same?
Leaders are not alone. There are people surrounding them. There are good and bad people and sometimes bad people are more than good people. Leaders get diverse advice from their aides and it will be very difficult for them not to listen to their advisers, lest they are branded autocrats. If they ignore their advisers, they will abandon them and in extreme cases, work against them. We must not blame them. Instead, we should continue to pray for them. If men of God give these leaders advice, they will table it at their meetings and when they table this at their meetings, not everybody will agree with such a view. Sometimes the advisers or aides are responsible for the bad decisions leaders take. What I do is to pray. I don’t go to the President’s house. I don’t seek to see the President. The authorities of the Christ Apostolic pray for the nation and government in power. Either good or bad, we continue to pray for them. But it is very important to pray for government in power.
Before the election, it appeared you had an unspoken support for President Jonathan. Would you say you still have the same feeling?
Nobody can please the world. When Yar’Adua was there, he was tagged ‘go slow’. People were not pleased. Even before Yar’Adua, it was still the same complaint about former President Olusegun Obasanjo. They said he was not doing well. Jonathan came but he is still regarded as being slow. Even God, people are not pleased with Him because whenever it rains, they complain that the rain is too much. When it is sunny, people complain of too much heat. So what do you want God to do? I’m neither holding brief for President Jonathan nor backing him. He is really trying but the job is massive. Many people are criticising him. We want to thank God for his life because he is a man of peace. I’m not a politician, but we are telling the whole world the truth. Nigeria must be patient. Nigerians want magic from any government that is in power but it should not always be like that.
Some people say the Christian Association of Nigeria (CAN) has become an arm of government. What do you have to say to this?
Many people say that but it is not so. It is good to be close to government because it is an opportunity for men of God to tell them the feelings of Nigerians. I don’t want Nigerians to see CAN as an arm of government. But sincerely it is very good to move very close to any government so as to advise it. Look at the way the President of CAN has handled the issue of Boko Haram, Islamic banking and other issues concerning Nigeria and Christians in particular. There is no way the leadership of CAN can be antagonising the President. We are men of peace; our father Jesus Christ is a man of peace and we must pursue peace.
What are the implications of the Catholic Secretariat pulling out of CAN?
If there are misunderstandings, let them come to the table and settle them amicably. The Bible says: ‘Let us come together and reason together’. If the Catholic Church is not happy about something, it should come to the round table to discuss. There are many good people in the Catholic Church. I think the disagreement is being blown out of proportion.
Some people have argued that the rancour has a lot to do with the next election in CAN, do you agree with this?
We will continue to pray. We cannot behave like politicians because all Christians believe in Christ Jesus. We cannot fight against ourselves; it is not possible. It is the media that blew this out of proportion. I don’t think they are fighting themselves and I don’t think there is politics in all of this. When it is time for election, they will come together, irrespective of who wins, irrespective of the denomination. The winner will be supported by all.
Last year, you said Boko Haram was going to be a thing of the past but today they are still killing people. What is the problem?
It is not too late. Isaiah prophesied that Jesus would come. He didn’t come until after 800 years. So, it is not too late. But it is an opportunity for us to pray very well. Nigeria will overcome her problems. Nigerians should not worry and not panic; God owns Nigeria. Killings and kidnappings in Nigeria will stop. By the grace of God, my message to Nigerians is that they should put their minds at rest.
Clerics have been accused of living ostentatious life style. How do you explain this?
I know you are referring to planes being owned by men of God. Abroad, young men like you have planes and jets to travel for their businesses. It is a glory to Christendom that the President of CAN has a plane and they bought it for him. I want to celebrate my 50th anniversary in the ministry. If somebody comes and offers me a helicopter, should I say I don’t want it? I can’t say I don’t need it or I’m not in a position to fly in it. The Bible says give and those who give are obeying what Jesus Christ instructed. They have and they gave. The President of CAN was given an aircraft and some people are angry. I don’t know what is wrong with them. I want to appeal to all Nigerians that if there are Christians God has blessed, they should not be criticised; it is not good. Pastors use private jets not because of ostentatious life style but as a matter of necessity.

RCCG commissions prayer mountain

Adeboye prayer mountain

By Samson Adeyanju Uwala
The Redeemed Christian Church of God (RCCG), has commissioned its prayer mountain specifically built and equipped to serve as a prayer village.
The vision of the prayer mountain was revealed  to the General Overseer of RCCG, Pastor Enoch Adeboye and his wife Pastor (Mrs) Foluke Adeboye about 30 years ago in South Korea.
The Magnificent prayer mountain named Mount Carmel is situated in Ifewara, Osun State, some ten minutes off Ife, the hometown of Pastor Adeboye.
While welcoming the guests to the commissioning, Pastor (Mrs) Adeboye, who supervised the  construction revealed that the plot of land was bought years ago for the prayer mountain and had been laying fallow until seven years ago when her husband moved for its development.
Recounting what made her and the husband to decide to build the  project, she said the prayer mountain is patterned  after what they saw in South Korea when they went for a prayer conference.
“We had been inspired to build a prayer mountain by what we saw in South Korea in 1985. We went for a David Yonggi Cho prayer conference there, and one afternoon, they took the delegates to their prayer mountain, which we admired so much.
“But then, we said: God, this is South Korea, we travelled almost a whole day to get there. How can we have something like this in Nigeria?”
“So since 1985, we had it in mind that one day, there would be prayer mountain of a similar status in Nigeria.
“We named this mountain Mount Carmel after the Mount Carmel where Prophet Elijah defeated the work of the devil. We also remembered the Mount of Transfiguration”
The prayer mountain, is a modern facility of a mix of sanctuaries, dormitories, chalets and numerous prayer huts flowing down the slope of a hill, overlooked by bigger residential blocks.
There are also halls of various sizes. To avoid the distraction of going out for one’s daily need, there is restaurant, bookshop, a supermarket, reliable electricity among other facilities.
Present at the event were some elders at Ifewara community, Professor Folu Aboaba, Elder Moronfolu Olusola Olakunri (SAN), Elder Felix Ohiwerei, Pastor Wale Oke and his wife.